Esperanza

Esperanza=Hope. What is it? Why does it exist? Isn't it a figment of our imagination? If there are doctors out there who can prescribe pills that act as placebos, then doesn't the same exist mentally with the idea of hope? I mean this in the sense that we can override the hopelessness and put ourselves in an improved mental state.

So bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people, people like you and me. If something unfair happens to us in a relationship that shakes our faith, so being good people, are we just supposed to forgive and forget? Do bad people have bad things happen to them? Or is this process the way by which good people become bad? I'm realizing that loosing faith in mankind due to bad experiences will inevitably turn a good person bad if bad things keep occurring or if the severity of the bad thing is bad enough.

I see myself as a good person. One who won't let the ex determine my happiness. Sure, happiness is relative, due to the greenness of the break, but with time, I hope to have hope again. For this is the only true way people can heal and improve their situation, which is the only way we can survive and push on.

It doesn't really matter what our trials are, we have to pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off, and keep walking. I am the type that needs to heal as I walk. As much as it might help to pick myself back up, heal, and then start walking, I need the walking in order to heal. I need to know there is someone out there who wants me to heal or someone I want to heal for.

Moral of the story, as much as I don't think I have hope, I do. As frustrating as it seems, time will fix my problems. I feel like I am the type of person who needs to be proactively doing something to better my situation. How can I proactively wait? It's oxymoronic in its sense.

Here's to hope. If I must patiently wait to obtain it, I'll do it proactively.

Peace.